Some Right Wing Political Funnies....

A Russian doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A French doctor says "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."

The German doctor says "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

An American doctor, not to be outdone, says "You guys are way behind.  We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois, put him in Washington, DC, and now half the country is looking for work."

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What do Lincoln,JFK, and Obama have in common?

Nothing Yet

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Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q.. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan Canada or Mexico .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan or China .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 spending it at yard sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

I'm going to drink beer at a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale!