Letterman's Top 10 Reasons for voting Democrat

edited February 2015 in Humor, Fun & Games

#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

# 9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at
15% isn't.

# 8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

# 7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

# 6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun,
and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from
murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service
that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a
home invasion.

# 5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned
about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row
inmates alive and comfy.

# 4. I vote Democrat because I think
illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social
Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those
who paid into it.

# 3. I vote Democrat because I believe that
businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They
need to break even and give the rest away to the government for
redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

# 2. I vote
Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the
Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get
their agendas past the voters.

...And, the #1 reason I vote
Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to
people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some
endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about
the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.


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