Fucking telemarketers

dgmdgm
edited August 2012 in Humor, Fun & Games
Them (Recorded): "This is cardholder services. We are calling to discuss your interest rate. There are no problems currently with your accounts. Press 1 to be connected to an operator!"

Me: 1

Them: "Hi, this is Darryl, are you applying for a lower interest rate today?"

Me: "No. Suck dicks in Hell. Quit calling me."


So goddamn tired of these calls.

Comments

  • dgm said:

    Them (Recorded): "This is cardholder services. We are calling to discuss your interest rate. There are no problems currently with your accounts. Press 1 to be connected to an operator!"

    Me: 1

    Them: "Hi, this is Darryl, are you applying for a lower interest rate today?"

    Me: "No. Suck dicks in Hell. Quit calling me."


    So goddamn tired of these calls.



    Getting one of these calls is a bit like being pulled over for speeding.  Most people only think of what they should have said after the PO leaves.

    If you get another, may I suggest:

    "Despite my calm demeanor, I am enraged that you, the bank, used my personal information to call me to pester me with something I didn't ask you for.  My credit is great, and I can get a card from anyone.

     

    What do you have that you, the bank, are going to give me to keep me from cancelling this card?  Make it good."

     


     

  • No. Suck dicks in Hell. Quit calling me.


    I see a problem here.

    It seems to me that you're assuming that he will find your suggestion off putting.






    Plus, aren't telemarketers demon spawn who are probably ALREADY doing that.
  • I used to have all that going to my land line with the ringer turned off. Last week we finally got rid of the land line along with television. Blessedly quiet in the house. I'm considering paying for the land line again. It's fios, dgm. So in shtf or wrol or teotwawki is that actually still a land line and likely to work?
  • MC Escher said:

    Plus, aren't telemarketers demon spawn who are probably ALREADY doing that.

    I thought they were mostly Canadians, or is that the ones who rip off little 'ol ladies?
  • I'm a fan of "Hey I'm so glad you called, can you hold on for just a second?" followed by slowly vacuuming your way over to wherever you set down the receiver.
  • zukiphile said:

    dgm said:


    If you get another, may I suggest:

    "Despite my calm demeanor, I am enraged that you, the bank, used my personal information to call me to pester me with something I didn't ask you for.  My credit is great, and I can get a card from anyone.

     

    What do you have that you, the bank, are going to give me to keep me from cancelling this card?  Make it good."

     


     

    Problem is, it's not actually my bank that is calling. It's some third party shitbag company that likes to call roughly every week or two. I've asked to be removed from their list, but to no avail obviously. The do-not-call registry is a fucking joke.




  • It's fios, dgm. So in shtf or wrol or teotwawki is that actually still a land line and likely to work?

    Nope.
  • dgm said:

    zukiphile said:

    dgm said:


     

    Problem is, it's not actually my bank that is calling. It's some third party shitbag company that likes to call roughly every week or two. I've asked to be removed from their list, but to no avail obviously. The do-not-call registry is a fucking joke.




    I had that a few years ago with MCI.  Their last call was at 11:45pm on Christmas Eve.  I filed a police report, and had a trace put on my line.  The calls stopped instantly.
  • Interesting. State or local police?
  • Thx, dgm. Glad to know I was right in dumping it.

    That's terrible Zuk
  • dgm said:

    Interesting. State or local police?



    Local. 

    "I need to make a report of telephone harrassment so the telephone company can trace my line."  The officer was accommodating and sympathetic.  I left with a report number to provide to the company.

  • If you didn't want to talk you could just have said so.
  • I've tried the "nice" approach. It's ineffective. I have "zero tolerance" for uninvited calls now.
  • I usually offer to discuss future planning for their imminent demise. 


    "May I speak to Ms. Dancer?" 

    "This is.." 

    "Ma'am, your credit scores allow you to apply for..." 

    *interrupts* "You know, I'm so glad you called. Have you discussed your final arrangements with your family?" 

    "I'm sorry, I was calling to offer you a great introductory rate for an exciting new..." 

    *interrupts again* "Yes, but I have all the cards I need. However, I'm terribly worried that your family isn't prepared to carry out your final wishes, be it cremation, burial or cryogenics. If you could just spare a few minutes, I have some wonderful insurance opt---" 

    This is the part where they usually freak out and hang up. :D 

  • Oh man, that is good
  • Do you have life insurance? Because if you do, you could always use a little more, right? I mean, who couldn't? But you wanna know something? I got the feeling... 

    image

    You ain't got any.  Amirite or amirite?  Right...
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