shitmydadsays

edited September 2009 in Humor, Fun & Games
Okay, not MY dad, but this is some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I finally see a reason for Twitter.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Comments

  • LMAO! My sister in law has been telling me about this site. His dad is a LOT like my Uncle Steve. Combine this guy with Clint Eastwood's character in Gran Torino. That's my uncle. :mrgreen:
  • He likes the word "shit". I respect that, it's a good word.
  • The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."
  • said:

    The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."[/quote:2euc5n1r]

    I'm headed to my dealership to shit in the IS-F in the showroom. I'm guessing nobody else does that.

  • Man, that guy says some epic stuff. People were wondering what the fuck I was laughing at, at my desk here at work.
  • Some favorites in no particular order:


    2:24 PM Sep 1st"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

    1:12 PM Sep 2nd from web "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."

    9:39 PM Aug 30th from web (watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

    11:18 AM Aug 28th from web "Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot.

    9:33 AM Aug 26th from web "How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

    8:07 PM Aug 24th from web "You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."

    1:07 PM Aug 23rd from web "Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."

    11:15 AM Aug 22nd from web "Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

    9:35 AM Aug 20th from web "Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"
  • This one was my favorite

    2:24 PM Sep 1st"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

    I can handle a testicle attack, but add creepy bug legs and I'm no good!
  • "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that"

    "I hate paying bills... Son, don't say 'me too.' I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of 'go away'."
  • "I'm sitting in one of those TGI Friday's places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth."
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